My internship came to a close. Whoever reads this and is just dying to know more about me, I intern at a business-to-business publisher in Manhattan. Sounds fabulous. The work isn’t bad, and I made a lot of friends there…

Lucky for me, I have no finals to take and can basically work at my part-time job more often. Which works because who doesn’t need money?

Tonight we had our annual Christmas dinner party. Typical ladies getting sauced while discussing work and the obscure. Some arrive with nasty attitudes or without their Kris Kringle gifts, but nonetheless the night rolls on…

So, people may know this about me, but I don’t particularly like to garner attention, especially from strangers. So if someone is looking at me, male or female, snidely or kindly, I don’t always notice. And tonight, my obliviousness reared its ugly head.

My girlfriend had informed me, once we exited and passed some 50-something lighting a stogie or cancer stick, that two men at the bar across the room were staring at our table, specifically, at her and me, the youngest and only people in their view. Some may be flattered (and I am flattered when people give me compliments, although it makes me feel weird, as though I can’t accept it, like a luxurious gift for doing something really simple), but this was something I didn’t accept as flattery, but perversion. The men, when I realized who they were, appeared to be around my father’s age. And while I find some older men attractive, this actually grossed me out.

Then I realized why.

I refuse to accept the social norm of ridiculously older man and the young gold-digger. It just doesn’t work for me. I mean granted, on your own accord, it’s fine, but it is certainly not for me. The same applies for dating people who look like a family member, distant or not.

At this, I began to think about youth. It doesn’t last in looks, although it never seems like you age until something like this happens to you. Would these men have looked at my friend and me if we were, say, 10-20 years older than our current age? And if so, would they be thinking the same thing as they were tonight when they saw two 21-year olds sitting at a table of fifteen women? Not sure. And would they have done or said anything to us or given us attention if they had daughters/ nieces/ cousins our age too? Or does perversion not apply?

Take sexual predators. Some of them target a certain sex, age and personality. Others, it seems, don’t necessarily have this demeanor or mindset on the surface, and if they are placed in the situation will they act upon it (i.e. teachers and young students, etc.). Either way they are as Law & Order: SVU would say, “sexually based offenders are considered especially heinous.”

I don’t think of myself as pretty, but I don’t think I’m heinous either. But if my father made advances at a young women my age, married to my mother or not, I could never look at him the same way again.

For these men, and even women, nothing lasts forever. Youth, beauty, and all those that are constantly paired together.